Scripture begins with the creation of man and woman in the image and likeness of God and concludes with a vision of “the wedding-feast of the Lamb. The mysteries of marriage and family runs throughout the scriptures. Because the institutions marriage and family are mysteries – they become so challenging to comprehend. Throughout the scriptures, the Spirit of God describes marriage and family as mysteries. These mysterious institutions can only be understood and managed through a revelation from its designer and creator. Challenges facing these institutions can only be resolved through the meanings – the designer and creator of marriage and family – God has given them. Knowledge about their origins and their end, their various realizations throughout the history of salvation, the difficulties arising from sin and their renewal “in the Lord” – in the New Covenant of Christ and the Church are crucial in building a strong family and marriage.
“The intimate community of life and love which constitutes the married state has been established by the Creator and endowed by Him with its own proper laws. God himself is the author of the institutions of marriage and family. The vocations to marriage and family are written by the very nature of man and woman as they came from the hand of the Creator. Despite the many variations that they may have undergone, through the centuries – in different cultures, social structures, and spiritual attitudes – marriage and family are not purely human institutions. Despite this difference, its common and permanent characteristics remain. Although the dignity of these institutions is not transparent everywhere with the same clarity, some sense of the greatness of the matrimonial and family union exists in all cultures.
“The well-being of the individual person and of both human and Christian society is closely bound up with the healthy state of conjugal and family life.” The Almighty God, who created man out of love also calls him to love the fundamental and innate vocation of every human being. For man is created in the image and likeness of God – God is love. Since God created him – man and woman, their mutual love would become a classic demonstration of an image of the absolute and unfailing love with which God loves humanity. In the eyes of the Creator, it is good. The love which God blesses is prescribed to be fruitful and to be realized in the common work of watching over creation: “And God blessed them, and God said to them: ‘Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it. Scripture affirms that man and woman were created for one another: The Lord Almighty said “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him” (Gen. 2:18, CCC,1602-1605).
So, the Lord Almighty caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib He had taken out of the man, and He present her to the man as a Precious Gift.
Ecclesiasticus 26:14
“A silent and loving woman is a gift of the Lord
When the man received his precious gift from God, he exclaimed in joy “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman, for she was taken out of man” (Gen. 2:23).
Your marriage and family do not have to be in crisis to benefit from an objective, encouraging third party-a spiritual director. If couples can address an issue, goal, desire, or vision proactively, they can overcome all potential crises.
This is because marriage and family are spiritual institutions. Although marriage and family are both mysteries (Eph. 5:31-32), each of these two institutions are both corporeal and spiritual. God Himself is the author of marriage and family, so, couples must go back to the Holy Bible – the Creator’s manual, for these two institutions- marriage and family – to know what the author has to say about them.
This is because marriage is a type of a church – the way Christ, and the church are one. Every family in heaven and on earth derives its name from the God – who is the author of marriage and family (Eph. 3:15).
According to king Solomon, you do not build a strong family and marriage through sex, parties, etc. – “By wisdom, a house is built, and by understanding it is established; by knowledge, the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches” Why Should couple seek spiritual direction in marriage and family?
Couples should seek spiritual direction in marriage because of the following
As a spiritual director I will use the biblical Solomonic strategies of building a strong family and marriage to stir up thoughts.
Couples want to build a strong spiritual family and marriage through spiritual direction in marriage and family.
Since God is Love and Love by its nature is a mystery – couples must approach the marriage and family as a mystery – they must go to the author of these two institutions – the Great revealer, to reveal the following:
The king said to Daniel, “Surely your God is the God of gods and the Lord of kings and a revealer of mysteries, for you were able to reveal this mystery
A lot of parents’ stumbles through those years never nailing down a clear vision, and they wind up having the default vision of our Western culture: simply “surviving.” They wander through those years thinking,
At times, couples come for spiritual direction in marriage and family because they feel their lives are scattered and out of control. And they want help getting back on track, help clarifying and living out God’s unique calling on their lives.
Some couples also come for spiritual marriage and family direction when they are experiencing the following troubling episodes in their dreams and daily lives: marital distress, sexual relationships in dreams, hatred of marriage, suddenly reject or abandon (a lover), unpardonable sexual error, wrong decision in marriage, neglect abandonment by spouse (husband and wife), dream marriages, having miscarriages after sexual dreams, hatred by earthly spouses, seeing a strange man or woman sleeping by one’s side in dreams, shopping with a strange man or woman in dreams, having a strange family in dreams, backing a strange baby in dreams, breast feeding a strange baby in dreams, pregnancy in dreams, swimming or seeing a river in dreams, etc.
Some couples would request our services because they need help working through obstacles to get a spouse home from the work force or a job change, or they are preparing for empty nesting or graduate school.
Spiritual direction in marriage and family is a collaborative process and partnership. In sessions, the spiritual director will ask serious questions that are aimed at helping the couple learn more about themselves and make the desired changes in life, marriage, and family that will be beneficial for both family and marriage.
Spiritual transformation is encouraged
Couples often ask: what is the difference between spiritual direction and counseling?
Spiritual direction is a type of coaching that focuses on the present and moving forward with spiritual directors as facilitators. In spiritual direction sessions, you will learn to better understand one another and discover solutions for your specific issues together.
Spiritual direction helps couple move from where they are to where they want to be and recognize that each marriage is different.
Spiritual director will not tell you what to do – but will help you figure out what will work best for you as a couple.
Our proven intake process is a great way to determine if spiritual direction is right for you.
If spiritual direction is not the right fit, we can provide various counseling/support resources to get your marriage relationship on track as soon as possible.
A spiritual director will challenge the couple to think about things they may never have thought of before, or only thought of in passing. A lot of times couples or parents ask themselves the right questions, but do not really probe for an answer. In Scripture, Jesus tells us to “Ask and it will be given you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you” (Matthew 7:7).
As a spiritual director I would assist parents and couples to start asking questions they never asked before – help them ask questions that were not thought of or neglected.
Can we live on one income, to enable spouse to start a new family business? How can we live on one income while spouse takes care of child?
How can we discover and discern who God created us to be?
Definitely. Spiritual direction is highly individualized, helping the couple hear themselves – helping couples to hear each other – and hear God more clearly. What this means is that couples can all get on the same page.
Spiritual direction is thoughtfully designed to help them identify areas that they differ in – and areas that they share some commonalities. Together they try to catch a clearer vision for what they want their marriage and family to be.
Definitely. A skillful spiritual director guides them around issues – thus unmasking areas where there is tremendous opportunity for spiritual growth. Therefore, through spiritual direction, couples can grow in terms of their practical physical vision – as the Holy Spirit reprograms them to grow in deeper intimacy with each other and with God. The growth in one area eventually impacts the growth of other areas. Growth process becomes a ripple effect.
Generally, when couples come for spiritual direction sessions, they do not ask “We’d like you to guide us around spiritual growth.” As spiritual direction sessions proceed, they begin to recognize that they are growing spiritually more than they had in years. They are talking more openly. They are journaling. They are praying more frequently.
Spiritual direction in marriage and family helps couples end the cycles of conflict, negativity, and disconnection, and reclaim the love, passion, and playfulness they once had.
Is the concept of gifting scriptural?
Yes! From a Christian point of view, we are often taught of discovering or discerning a vision for our life. God Himself says so in the following statements:
“’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. ‘” — Jeremiah 29:11
“For you created my inmost being you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful; I know that full well” – Psalm 139:13-14.
Therefore, the gifts and the call of the Lord are irreversible and biblical. What these scriptural passages are saying is that there are treasures placed directly inside each one of us – and it is the responsibility of a spiritual director to help a directee discern what those gifts are. It is stirring the inside of you to get clearer picture on what God called you to be – how God gifted you – what God’s vision is.
Quality spiritual direction becomes exciting spiritual journey – walking with a couple who have a solid foundation and watch them move more fully into the joy, peace, contentment, and fulfillment of God’s design for their marriage and family.
In Genesis chapter three, the elemental unions were broken by sin: union between God and man – man and woman – man and the soil – man, and the animals. The relationship of harmony between each of these pairs became corrupt – the communion between God and Adam became a legal relationship of accuser and defendant – the relationship of man and woman “one flesh” was soured into mutual recrimination.
A healthy or harmonious marriage does not just happen in a corrupt world. A knowledgeable and skillful spiritual director will effectively lead couples into healthier marriages, thereby bringing joy and fulfillment into their lives, as well as glory to God.
My responsibility as a spiritual director, is to equip couples and families with the knowledge, skills and resources that will eventually guide them into healthier marriages, thereby bringing joy and fulfillment into their lives, as well as glory to God.
My responsibility as a spiritual director is to focus on strengthening couples. This is one of the most important functions of the Church and is often seen as a key to growth. Properly caring for and feeding the marital relationship is an essential goal of effective marriage coaching.
My responsibility as a spiritual director is to guide couples to spiritual Intimacy. A life-long marital satisfaction requires that couples move beyond sexual and emotional intimacy to become true soul mates. There is a spiritual bond, and a deeper sexual and emotional intimacy, that evolves uniquely when two people mature in marriage over the lesson of a lifetime.
Due to licensing restrictions, our practitioners cannot currently provide services in regions or states which they do not hold a license to practice. They are however allowed to offer Tele-coaching – Tele spiritual direction to these people internationally and domestically. My Spiritual direction sessions are done over the phone or zoom – which makes it more convenient. Couples do not have to arrange for babysitting, take time off work, drive across town, sit in a lobby. Provision for conference calls will made available for couples that are far from each other.
Spiritual direction appointments are typically 60 minutes in length, once a month or varies
Spiritual directions sessions will often begin with a few minutes of silence as a way of tuning in to the present and paying attention to the thoughts and feelings you would like to explore.
Spiritual direction will focus on your spiritual longings and relationship with God – exploring questions and stirrings in your heart, mind, and soul.
As you seek to see, hear, and recognize the voice and movement of God in your life, your spiritual director will invite you to engage in various spiritual disciplines and creative practices.
The spiritual director will email the couple a questionnaire to fill before the first session. Questionnaires may also be filled electronically on the website. The day before the first session, couples are advice to fill the questionnaire send their responses through the following email ourladyofmountcarmel64@yahoo.com. Questionnaires are crucial for the spiritual director to prepare sessions. The day before each session, the couple will e-mail to their spiritual director a prep form. This form lets the spiritual director know what the couple has done since the last session, what they’re struggling with, and what they need or want to focus on in the next call or zoom session. This brings everybody up to speed, so, they know before the session begins what they’re going to be concentrating on.